Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Canada's Favourite TV Relationship Expert's Blog has Moved!

Hi there Readers!

As most of you know, I've been blogging from my homepage these days. If you want to read my newest relationship and psychology posts, check them out at:

It's here that I answer all of your relationship questions, give my latest tips on romance, and provide my psychological perspectives on all your favourite celebrities, TV shows, and latest news. I look forward to connecting with you there:-)

Wishing you happy relationships,


Watch some of Kimberly's Recent CTV Clips!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Learning to Survive the Big, Bad, Blind Date....

Whether being set up by friends or meeting someone online, blind dates can be simultaneously exciting and downright terrifying for Canadian singles.

You've read your date's profile, seen his picture, or heard great things about him from Aunt Myrtle, but still have a lot of questions and concerns: What if we have nothing to talk about? What if he doesn't show up?

When it comes to the modern blind date, we all know it's important to pick a neutral location like a café, and equally important to dress to impress. But which dating strategies should we use and which should we ditch? Here are my tips to set your blind date up for success.

1. Open your mind: At the risk of sounding like Ben the Bachelor, it's important you make sure you're in it for the right reasons. This way, you're not sabotaging the date before it begins. Some right reasons for blind dating are: having fun, meeting great people, having great conversation and doing so while having an open heart and mind. Wrong reasons include: proving your friends and relatives wrong, scoring a free dinner, or to get over your ex. Check in with yourself before the date to ensure you're feeling genuinely excited.

2. Don't Google: Reading what your date has written on her online profile in advance is good; it helps you to understand her personality, hobbies, and relationship needs. But searching for much more information can cause snap or false judgments before you've even met. Give your date a chance to tell you about herself in person.

3. Ask questions: Not only do questions stimulate the conversation and help the other person feel that you're interested, asking the right questions can help you figure out if your blind date is right for you. Ideal first-date questions are meaningful without being nosy. For example: What is your family like? Avoid questions that focus on the past. We can psychologically drive ourselves away from liking someone if we picture him with another partner, especially in the beginning. Try to focus on what you have in common now. And remember: Even if a date is leaning toward the 'friend zone,' learning about another person is rarely a waste of time and often provides insight into what you're looking for in a match.

4. Be honest with your date (and with yourself): If you're not interested, politely thank her for the date and move on. Setting appropriate boundaries with the dates you don't like will make room for the ones you do like - and help you get the most out of the dating experience.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

What Does Your Halloween Costume Say About You?

With Halloween fast approaching, singles everywhere are starting to think about their costumes! A recent survey by showed that nearly one-third of Canadians prefer funny halloween costumes over any other type. Whether you’re attending a Halloween party, going to a club or a lounge, or taking the children you love trick-or-treating, there’s a lot of time and effort that goes into choosing what your look-of-the-year should be.

Sexy nurse? Superman? Police Officer? Halloween costumes help us to psychologically step out of the traditional roles we play everyday. While ‘playing a role,’ the costume can actually help us to display our inner confidence and even bring out our alter-ego personalities! Ever notice the shy friend who did a complete 180 when she donned a stripper costume?

Here are a few of the most common costumes you’re bound to see this year.

Superhero costumes can include Superman, Superwoman, the Flash, Batman, X-men, Spiderman, etc. etc. etc! Men who wear superhero costumes usually have a fun and playful side, and since these characters are from their childhood, they get in touch with their inner-boy on Halloween. You might see them play-fighting, running around, and even acting the superhero part! For women, a superhero costume can be empowering. This might be a woman who wants to kick some ass!

Sexy Bunny/Nurse/Kitten/Maid/Schoolgirl.. basically anything sexy:
Approximately half of the women you see this Halloween will be wearing a sexy costume. Halloween is the one day of the year women allow themselves to flaunt their gorgeous bods in a confident and sexy way! Some people might think that women who dress up in overtly sexy costumes at Halloween are promiscuous. Don’t worry ladies, this is absolutely not the case! The way a woman acts in her sexy costume is a better indicator of her personality than the costume itself. For singles, sexy costumes can help attract a potential mate, if that’s what you’re looking for. 

Media Figure-of-The-Moment
You’ve seen these costumes: The Sham-wow guy, Sarah Palin, Snooki, Kate Middleton. These costumes are designed to attract a laugh! If you see someone wearing a costume like this, you can bet they have a great sense of humour. Take the time to talk to someone in this costume, and ask how they got the idea!

Random Objects
You’ve seen these: a person that dresses up as a box, a lamp, or a leftover. These costumes show an inevitably quirky and creative personality. Not only is it challenging to think of the idea, the costume takes an enormous amount of skill to create! Usually they require sewing, assembling, and putting together everyday objects to create something unique. These costumes are definitely a conversation starter!

Group Costumes
Your two friends and you decide to go as CTRL, ALT and DELETE! Group costumes can be a lot of fun, and also say a lot about the group wearing them. Group costumes work well if you tend to be on the shy side. These costumes can help you blend into a crowd and not attract too much attention. But the group effort that goes into making costumes like this show others that you’re a well-liked person with fun-loving friends that can work as part of a team. There may be a warning sign however: These costume-wearers may lack individuality and hide behind the group to gain self-confidence.

Movie/TV/Cartoon Characters
Madmen, Homer/Marge Simpson, Yoda, Indiana Jones. These costumes are designed to replicate famous and beloved characters from the tube. Of all the costumes, these are the easiest to decipher: the person wearing the costume simply enjoys the show, movie, or cartoon that their costume belongs to! They have usually chosen their favourite character as well! For example, if they’re dressed like Homer, they like to watch the Simpsons. If they’re dressed up like Yoda, they like Star Wars. Pay attention to this – if you enjoy the same cartoon or movie, you might be a good match!

Friday, March 11, 2011

How to Spice up the Romance this Winter!

March is a very common month to feel the wrath of the winter-dulls! After a long winter, we're aching to do fun-in-the-sun activities, summer romances, and sexy nights on the beach.

Here are a few of my tips to spice up the romance when it's still cold outside:

Last Chance to Go Skating: Before the snow melts, bring your partner to a cute outdoor rink and go skating! Participating in activities from our youth makes us feel younger, more spontaneous, and more athletic. Plus -- sipping a warm hot chocolate after is super romantic!

Rent a Weekend Lodge: Taking a weekend getaway to a cold and snowy place can help you feel more connected to your partner. Skiing, snowboarding, or spa-ing during the day can be fun, and snuggling by the fire at night can light sparks between you and your partner.

Hot-Tubbing: This activity can be done whether there's snow on the ground or not! Whether in your backyard, at a hotel, or at a friend's place, hot tubbing in the winter with your partner can be a sensual and fun experience.

Spending a Cozy Night at Home:  Taking the time to light some candles, play some music and eat a delicious dinner you've made together can help you connect on a deeper level. Hire a babysitter and use this as an opportunity to catch up with each other. Talk about your future goals, for example, discuss the exotic trips you'd like to take in the future and your next adventures together! Maybe even create a bucket list. All of these things help you to feel on the same page, connected, and spice up your relationship!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Top 3 Signs He Won't Marry You

These are the top 3 behaviours I’ve seen in men over the years that are red flags in any relationship. If you think he’s ready to commit, read these top three to ensure that he’s long-term material.

Warning Sign #1 – He Doesn’t Speak about Your ‘Future’.  If your beau is not talking about long-term plans with you for at least 2, 3, or 5 years ahead, this is a sign that he hasn’t entertained any thoughts that require him to think that far in advance. He hasn’t thought about the saving required to purchase a ring, plan a wedding, or prepare for children. He is not ready for marriage.

Warning Sign #2 – He Avoids the “Where are we Going?” Conversation.  If you are dating a man who stonewalls you every time you try to have a serious conversation, treats your complaints or feelings as a joke, or simply changes the topic, your man is not ready to marry you. A man who is truly ready for marriage is not afraid to talk about where the relationship is going. If you’re the one, he will say “I would like to marry you someday,” even if he can’t say that time is now.

Warning Sign #3 – He Hasn’t Invested in Time with your Parents, Friends, or Family.  When a man truly wants to marry a woman, he knows that he needs to win over her family. Knowing and liking your parents will come in handy when you need help with the wedding, need a babysitter, or when you’re attending family events – and he knows this. Guys who are ready for marriage understand the importance of family – children, parents, and even great-Aunts.

Monday, May 10, 2010

5 Signs He'll Never Leave his Mom's Basement

1. He Can't Cook: Has he ever attempted to sweep you off your feet with a romantic meal? If not, there's a good chance he's avoiding this domestic date because his culinary skills are under-par. This is a huge sign that mom is still feeding him, and his motivation to leave the nest will be dwindling by the year.

2. He Listens to his Mom over You: Ask yourself -- who has more influence over his decisions? Not just big decisions, but the daily things: his linens, his book pics, his hairstyle. If mom still wins out over you, it's time to question whether he'll ever be ready to make life decisions on his own.

3. He's Not Financially Independent: Is your man still receiving financial bailouts from mom and dad? Does he recklessly overspend on credit cards or not pay his friends back what he owes? This is an enormous red flad -- ladies beware! This man will drive you to financial ruin. If he ever does leave his parents house, he will expect you to do the same.

4. He Has Unrealistic Dreams: If he's still clinging on the hope that his rock band will "make it big," or that he'll win the lottery, he's probably not facing the reality that he needs to work hard to succeed. This type of guy needs someone to support him endlessly -- and that's one of two people: mom, or YOU.

5. He's Spoiled: In life, has he had everything handed to him on a silver platter? His car, his meals, his university education? Being spoiled is the #1 cause of laziness, and if he's been treated this way by mom and dad all his life, don't expect him to change now.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Are Men Better Partners if they have a Pet?

YES! If you're single and looking for a partner, a pet owner is an attractive candidate!

Pet owners can make better partners if you're looking for someone loyal, responsible, committed, and secure. Pet owners practice the daily exercise of looking after their pets -- through the fun and not-so-fun times, which is a sign of long term commitment and a realistic outlook on relationships. If you're single and looking for a potential mate, a person with a pet will be more understanding of the hard work a relationship requires and will have a better chance of succeeding in the relationship.

Pet ownership can have a dramatic impact on someone's love life. Opportunities to meet new people and socialize can arise every day while doing activities that are required by their pets, such as walking, jogging, and pet training classes. Owners of an adorable pet, (eg: a brand new puppy) may find themselves in the centre of attention from members of the opposite sex, and these opportunities can be perfect to strike up a conversation with a person of interest. But remember: Your cute, cuddly pet can only bring you the attention -- the rest of the work is up to you! 

As a psychotherapist and relationship expert, I always tell my clients that in order to meet like-minded people, you MUST put yourself in situations that will increase the chances of this happening! 

If you're single and looking to meet a mate, check out this "singles mixer with a twist." Come to meet local pet owning singles. Pets always make the best wingmen, so best of all, you can bring your pet and let them break the ice!

The event is happening at Pawsway Pet Discovery Centre at 245 Queens Quay East. To register, go to:

and for more information go to 

Check out our interview with Roger, Darren, and Marilyn on CHUM FM: 

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Can Relationships Be Addictive???

Dear Kimberly,

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we are in a vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back together. What happens is at least once a month I realize that the relationship is toxic. I start to distance myself by picking a fight or arguing with him. This ALWAYS ends in me packing my bags and storming away only to find myself calling him a few days later because I miss him. We've broken up over 30 times in 3 years.

Is something wrong with me? Please help...


Dear Anna,

Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. The process of breaking up and getting back together with a partner can certainly become a pattern if we're not aware of the emotional reasons why you're doing this. You have become 'addicted' to the cycle of an emotional roller coaster. In some situations this can be a subconscious way of relieving anxiety, or even of distracting yourself with the relationship in order to avoid other issues that you need to face. Think about if there's anything you're avoiding or 'getting out of' by staying preoccupied in this relationship. This should help in seeing the clarity of the situation.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Bachelor: Does 'Love at First Sight' Exist?

The latest season of "The Bachelor" premiered last night on City TV, with heartthrob Jake Pavelka, who is most well known for his breaking of the 'man code' on last season of the Bachelorette.

Most of us groan as we hear the new Bachelorettes say "I'm in love!" the first time that they see the new bachelors. Television programs like this make us wonder, "Is it really possible to fall in love after seeing someone for the first time?"

The answer is surprisingly.... YES! I have had many clients who have experienced what they call 'love at first sight.' I've heard many tales of people meeting their partners and knowing instantly that he/she was the person they were meant to marry.

What is love at first sight?

The term 'love at first sight' can actually be called 'love at first interaction.' When we first meet someone, it takes less than a split second to determine that person's overall attractiveness. In 30 seconds, we are able to determine not only their looks, but how they interact with us, the way they smell, the tone of their voice, and the way we feel around them.

While love at first sight is possible, it happens less than we think! Hindsight bias makes it easy for people to remember the one time they fell in love with a person they found attractive at first sight, but neglect the other ten people they did not eventually fall in love with.

I recently answered some questions for CITY TV about 'Love at First Sight." Click here to watch our interview!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Does Online Dating Work?

I have a growing number of clients who are "romancing" online - and it's become so prevalent I figured it was worth addressing in my blog. In short, the answer is... (drumroll please!)


Online dating does indeed work..... but only if you're willing to put up with the pitfalls!

Pitfall #1 - It's Time Consuming! If you're planning to meet a man online, be ready to think of it as a 'part time job.' You're constantly checking for updates, chatting with people, and wading through a crowd of men before you find your prince charming.

Pitfall #2 - It Can Take Ages to Find Someone! In person, we can determine immediately who we respond well to and who is relationship material. The large number of people who date online means you're more likely to meet hundreds of people you are incompatible with in person before you meet 'the one.'

There are more blessings than pitfalls, though. Here they are ladies!

Blessing #1 - More Choice: The online world is filled with handsome, eligible, and successful bachelors: Many more than we can find waiting at our local hardward store or gym. When it comes to numbers, you just can't beat online.

Blessing #2 - No Nightclubs: We don't have to subject ourselves to "Hey Beautiful" types at nightclubs. Being online means we can stay at home in our pajamas while sorting through our possible mates.

Blessing #3 - Power of the Profile: We can choose our prettiest profile picture, update our details, and even decide the amount of information we give upfront. This sure beats meeting 'Mr. Right' on a bad hair day.

Have any of YOU had a bad or good online dating experience?