Ask Kimberly:

1. He Can't Cook: Has he ever attempted to sweep you off your feet with a romantic meal? If not, there's a good chance he's avoiding this domestic date because his culinary skills are under-par. This is a huge sign that mom is still feeding him, and his motivation to leave the nest will be dwindling by the year.

2. He Listens to his Mom over You: Ask yourself -- who has more influence over his decisions? Not just big decisions, but the daily things: his linens, his book pics, his hairstyle. If mom still wins out over you, it's time to question whether he'll ever be ready to make life decisions on his own.

3. He's Not Financially Independent: Is your man still receiving financial bailouts from mom and dad? Does he recklessly overspend on credit cards or not pay his friends back what he owes? This is an enormous red flad -- ladies beware! This man will drive you to financial ruin. If he ever does leave his parents house, he will expect you to do the same.

4. He Has Unrealistic Dreams: If he's still clinging on the hope that his rock band will "make it big," or that he'll win the lottery, he's probably not facing the reality that he needs to work hard to succeed. This type of guy needs someone to support him endlessly -- and that's one of two people: mom, or YOU.


5. He's Spoiled: In life, has he had everything handed to him on a silver platter? His car, his meals, his university education? Being spoiled is the #1 cause of laziness, and if he's been treated this way by mom and dad all his life, don't expect him to change now.

YES! If you're single and looking for a partner, a pet owner is an attractive candidate!

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we are in a vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back together. What happens is at least once a month I realize that the relationship is toxic. I start to distance myself by picking a fight or arguing with him. This ALWAYS ends in me packing my bags and storming away only to find myself calling him a few days later because I miss him. We've broken up over 30 times in 3 years.

Is something wrong with me? Please help...

Anna

Dear Anna,

Don't worry, you are certainly not alone. The process of breaking up and getting back together with a partner can certainly become a pattern if we're not aware of the emotional reasons why you're doing this. You have become 'addicted' to the cycle of an emotional roller coaster. In some situations this can be a subconscious way of relieving anxiety, or even of distracting yourself with the relationship in order to avoid other issues that you need to face. Think about if there's anything you're avoiding or 'getting out of' by staying preoccupied in this relationship. This should help in seeing the clarity of the situation.

Kimberly

The latest season of "The Bachelor" premiered last night on City TV, with heartthrob Jake Pavelka, who is most well known for his breaking of the 'man code' on last season of the Bachelorette.

Most of us groan as we hear the new Bachelorettes say "I'm in love!" the first time that they see the new bachelors. Television programs like this make us wonder, "Is it really possible to fall in love after seeing someone for the first time?"

The answer is surprisingly.... YES! I have had many clients who have experienced what they call 'love at first sight.' I've heard many tales of people meeting their partners and knowing instantly that he/she was the person they were meant to marry.

What is love at first sight?

The term 'love at first sight' can actually be called 'love at first interaction.' When we first meet someone, it takes less than a split second to determine that person's overall attractiveness. In 30 seconds, we are able to determine not only their looks, but how they interact with us, the way they smell, the tone of their voice, and the way we feel around them.

While love at first sight is possible, it happens less than we think! Hindsight bias makes it easy for people to remember the one time they fell in love with a person they found attractive at first sight, but neglect the other ten people they did not eventually fall in love with.

I recently answered some questions for CITY TV about 'Love at First Sight." Click here to watch our interview!

I have a growing number of clients who are "romancing" online - and it's become so prevalent I figured it was worth addressing in my blog. In short, the answer is... (drumroll please!)

YES!

Online dating does indeed work..... but only if you're willing to put up with the pitfalls!

What makes a perfect girlfriend?

I have heard many moms speak about how they need to do more for their loved ones: feed the family, maintain a career, receive glowing reviews from all sources. But what kind of a toll does this take on a person? What consequences result when moms constantly put others before themselves?

Mothers are the most guilty for spending too much time on others, and not enough time on themselves.

When was the last time you had a day at the spa, a pedicure, or a relaxing massage?

If you have not done these lately, I am prescribing that you choose one (or all) and go treat yourself immediately! Taking the time to do something for yourself, like a facial, a day of rest, or a night out with your man (treating you!) will not only give you time away from your loved ones to reflect and appreciate, but will give you added vitality throughout the week.

What do YOU do to take care of YOU? Please share!

The TV program Wipeout premiered this Wednesday - a program that involves contestants completing ridiculous tasks, falling, tripping, and making fools of themselves.

Back in University, I studied by the windows in the University Centre at the University of Guelph. One day, I sat by the window of an ice patch, and one-by-one, as people walked by, they would slip and fall on the ice. Like a child, my uncontrollable reaction was to laugh. It seemed so cruel, why was I laughing when other people were hurting themselves??

I recently did an interview with TV Guide magazine on why we are programmed to laugh when other people trip and fall.

Read the article Here.

The reason we enjoy watching other people trip, fall down and hurt themselves, otherwise known as Schadenfreude, because it results in positive self-evaluation. Simply put, when others are made to look like fools, we subconsciously feel better about ourselves! We might think, ‘I’m glad that wasn’t me,’ or ‘Boy, those people are stupid!’ Psychologists say that the positive feeling while watching is actually stronger for people who have been through a recent failure or setback in their own lives.

So, perhaps when I was studying at the University of Guelph, I wasn't feeling so good about myself! That might explain why I took delight in watching the people slip and fall on the ice!

Why, then, are people attracted to Wipeout? Because laughing is a release from our usual, everyday stress and worries. When we can laugh at someone else, we can ignore our everyday dilemmas and just get lost in the “fun of it.” It’s perfectly normal and healthy to feel delight while watching others trip and fall.

As we now know, stress and infertility go hand in hand. Many women have now turned to psychotherapy as a way to increase their chances of becoming pregnant.